I watched you.
I watched you.
I watched the light dance from your life,
the smile from your face.
I watched the nights bleed into your days and your eyes become hollow.
I watched you .. but I didn’t see you.
Or maybe I didn’t realize what I was watching.
You stopped your own breath.
I heard your voice. i thought it would effect me more then it did. I thought I would cry, maybe even get goose bumps. But I didn’t. I think its because it still sounded so fresh to me.
who am I now? Who are we now?
There is someone else inside of me. I keep her quite. her thoughts are big and creative and larger then the both of us. and she wants to change the world, she wants to fix fix fix.
but i keep her quite .i keep her in the lines. She feels to much. She cares to much. She cries to much. But she has a small light that sometimes is so strong that it escapes through my cracks. Those are the moments i realize just how many cracks I really have.
She was your daughter. When you took your own breath, she had to make hers more shallow, if i let her lose, she may feel all the pain of losing you. I dont want to feel that pain. I dont want to miss you as badly as she does.
she painted a flower. an abstract sunflower. Its one of the first times in a long time she has done sometime that others can see. Ive been keeping her thoughts locked down in my mind.
She would be a better mother. She would have seen.
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loudmindquitemouth 